Embodying Grief as Ritual
By J. A. Jones
Grief is a landscape that can feel overwhelming, yet it’s also a deeply human experience woven into the fabric of our existence. While many approaches to mourning have developed over time, traditions rooted in animistic and ancestral practices remind us that grief need not be carried alone or suppressed. Instead, it can be worked with and transformed through simple, heartfelt rituals. Sobonfu Somé observes that “grief has the power to bring us back into the arms of our community, reconnecting us with ourselves and each other.” And though community can be a vital support, it’s also possible to find meaningful ways to engage with grief on a personal level. There is no right way to grieve. Grief is an individual expression that can be sublime and peaceful or passionate, like a wild animal. Release all judgment about your grieving process. Let it flow freely in whatever form it arrives. Grief is the art of being human.
Francis Weller notes that “without a holding community, many of our losses remain unmourned,” Even if your direct community feels distant, the natural world, your ancestors, and subtle energetic connections can serve as compassionate witnesses. Malidoma Patrice Somé points out that “ritual is the means by which we renew our relationship with the cosmos and restore balance.” By creating small, intentional ceremonies, you invite this balance into your life, transforming sorrow into something honored, held, and eventually integrated.
Consider the following practices as a starting point. They do not require elaborate materials or specialized training—only your sincerity and the willingness to be with the felt sense moving through you:
Create a grief altar: Gather photographs, personal keepsakes, and natural elements like leaves, stones, or feathers. Arranging them together provides a sacred focal point where you can pause, reflect, cry, or remember without interruption.
Write and release: Put your loss into words, then choose a way to offer it to the world—bury the paper in the earth, burn it and watch the smoke rise, or float it away on a stream. Each gesture symbolizes acknowledging your pain and entrusting it to something larger than yourself.
Whisper to the wind: Find a quiet outdoor spot. Speak your sorrow softly, letting the land hold it. In this simple exchange, you honor your feelings and allow nature’s vast presence to receive them.
Place your hands on the earth: Kneel and feel the ground beneath you. Imagine your grief traveling down through your palms, spreading into the soil. This is not about discarding your loss but allowing it to diffuse and evolve.
Use breath and voice: Hum or sing a simple tune. Let your voice carry whatever can’t be fully expressed in words. Sound can bridge the invisible gap between your internal landscape and the animate world around you.
Honor objects of meaning: Keep a small stone or feather nearby when you reflect or weep. Over time, these objects become witnesses to your journey, reminders that your feelings have been seen and held.
Light a candle at dusk: As darkness approaches, light a candle and offer a gentle acknowledgment of your loss. This simple act can serve as a daily ritual, guiding you toward patience and understanding.
Breaking and releasing: Release the cathartic energy within grief by smashing damaged plates against a wall or tree. A grief ritual can look or feel like anything. Be creative!
These practices encourage a direct, heartfelt relationship with grief—one that acknowledges pain without rushing to fix or dismiss it. In doing so, you step into a tradition of honoring loss as a passage, not an endpoint. Over time, these gentle rituals can help restore a sense of connection, balance, and meaning in the midst of sorrow.
References
Somé, M. P. (1993). Ritual: Power, healing and community. Swan/Raven & Co.
Somé, S. (1999). The spirit of intimacy: Ancient teachings in the ways of relationships. William Morrow Paperbacks.
Weller, F. (2015). The wild edge of sorrow: Rituals of renewal and the sacred work of grief. North Atlantic Books.
